Nobody wants to be sold to by a stranger. Almost everybody likes being asked for advice. Here are ten ways to start a conversation with the people you want as customers, for B2B and B2C: where to find them, what to send, and what to ask once they reply. None of them pitch.
Pick two openers that fit where your customers already hang out. Send ten messages a day for two weeks, using the scripts as a starting point. When people reply, use Once They Reply to keep the conversation about them, and The Loop Back to turn it into a customer.
Polishing features before you've talked to a single customer is Building Theater: it feels like progress and it makes $0. The people on the other end of these messages will tell you what to build.
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A pitch asks a stranger for something before they know you: their time, their attention, their money. An advice ask gives them something instead: the chance to be the expert. People say yes to that far more often, and they tell you the truth, because they aren't guarding their wallet.
There's an old line in fundraising: ask for money and you get advice, ask for advice and you get money. Customers work the same way. Someone who helped you shape the product wants to see it work, and they're the first person you show it to.
This only works if you actually want the answer. If the advice ask is a pitch in disguise, people can tell by the second message. Ask about their life and their problem, not your idea.
And it doesn't make you look lost. In a 2015 study by Harvard and Wharton researchers, people who asked for advice were seen as more competent, not less.
Your customers are describing their problems in public right now. The first five meet them there, with one message they can answer from their phone without getting on a call.
A complaint is the best signal there is: a real person with a real problem, this week. Don't drop a link. Ask what they ended up doing about it.
Your post about chasing invoices hit home. I'm a solo founder digging into how agencies deal with late payers. What did you end up doing about it? Did anything actually work?
I've been trying to work out why every meal planning app gets dropped by week two. Did you ever find something that stuck, or did you go back to winging it?
A company hiring for the job your product does has the problem and a budget for it. Someone asking for a recommendation is the B2C version. Ask why now, not whether they'd buy.
Saw you're hiring a part-time bookkeeper. I'm researching how small agencies handle their books, and I'm curious: what made you decide it was time to hire for it? Happy to share what I've heard from other owners.
Hope you find someone good. I'm looking into how busy dog owners sort this out, so I'm curious: what's made it hard to find a walker you trust?
Post a question in the group where your customers hang out. Not "would you use this?" but "how do you handle this?" Read the rules first and say plainly that you're a founder researching it. Everyone who replies is someone you can message next.
Question for the agency owners here: how do you handle clients who pay late? I'm not selling anything. I'm a founder trying to understand the problem before I build. What's worked for you, and what hasn't?
New parents: what's one thing you tried for tracking baby sleep and gave up on? I'm researching this before I build anything, and I'd love to hear what didn't work and why.
People with a long track record get pitched all the time and almost never get asked what they know. The question is honest flattery, it's specific, and the answer tells you what the real problem is underneath.
You've run ops at three logistics companies, so I'd really value your take. What do people new to dispatch scheduling always get wrong? I'm a solo founder trying to learn the space properly before I build.
Your answers in this forum are the most useful ones here. What's the mistake you see beginners make over and over with sourdough? I'm trying to understand where people get stuck.
"Hop on a call?" costs a stranger 30 minutes before they know you. Ask for three questions by message instead. Number them, keep them short, and let them answer in a minute. Offer a call only if they're clearly enjoying it.
Hi Priya, I'm a solo founder looking at no-shows in small clinics, and I want to learn before I write any code. Could I ask you three quick questions here? 1. How do you handle no-shows today? 2. What does a bad week cost you? 3. What have you tried that didn't work?
Hey, saw your comment about quitting your running app. I'm working on something in that space. Could I ask three quick questions? 1. What made you download it? 2. When did you stop opening it? 3. What would have kept you going?
Once you know who they are, go deeper. These five get you a longer conversation: a screen share, an interview, a coffee. Use them on people who answered 01–05, or anyone a friend can introduce you to.
What people say they do and what they actually do are different. Watching them do the task shows you the spreadsheet, the workaround and the five tabs they keep open. Offer to pay for their time.
Thanks, this is really useful. Would you be up for a 20-minute screen share where I just watch you do your Monday scheduling? No demo, no pitch. I'll send a $50 gift card for your time.
Would you let me watch you plan your week's meals once, on a 20-minute video call? I'll send you a $25 gift card. I just want to see how you really do it, mess and all.
A one-page landing page or a rough mockup gives people something to react to. Don't ask if they like it. Ask what's confusing and what would stop them. People are far more honest pulling a draft apart than praising it.
You told me chasing late payers is the worst part of the month. I sketched a page for a fix based on what you said. Could you tear it apart? What's confusing, and what wouldn't you believe?
I made a rough page for the idea we talked about. Be brutal: what would make you close the tab in five seconds?
People say yes to being interviewed for a newsletter, a blog post or a podcast, because they get something too. You get half an hour of them talking about their work, on the record. It only works if you publish, so do.
I'm writing a series on how agency owners manage cash flow, and your post on retainers was the best thing I've read on it. Could I interview you for 30 minutes? You'd see it before it goes out.
I'm putting together a post on how real families do meal planning, not the Pinterest version. Could I interview you for 20 minutes? I'll send you the draft before it goes up.
Ask friends, ex-coworkers and everyone you've already spoken to for one introduction to someone with the problem. Make the ask about learning, write the intro blurb for them, and let your friend check the other person wants it first.
I'm learning how clinic managers handle no-shows before I build anything. Do you know one person who deals with it that I could ask for advice? Here's a two-line blurb you can forward if it helps.
Odd ask: does anyone know a parent of twins who'd let me ask them three questions about bedtime? I'm researching something, not selling anything.
Fewer founders do this, so it works better. Open with something easy, listen, then ask for advice on one specific thing. Get their contact before you leave so you can loop back later.
What brought you to the show? … I'm a founder trying to understand how distributors handle returns. Could I ask your advice? What's the part of it that eats your week?
How long have you been climbing here? … Can I ask your advice on something? I'm working on an idea for people new to climbing. What nearly made you quit in the first month?
Most of 01–05 starts with a search. Paste these into Reddit, X or LinkedIn's post search, or into Google with site:reddit.com in front. Swap in your problem and sort by newest.
# They have the problem "how do you handle" [task] "anyone else struggle with" [task] "I hate" [task] "so tired of" [task] # They're looking for a fix "is there a tool that" [does the thing] "what do you use for" [task] "can anyone recommend" [service] "I'd pay for" [thing] # They're leaving a competitor "[competitor] alternative" "switched from [competitor]" "cancelled [competitor]"
A post from this week is a conversation. A post from 2021 is history. Reply while they still care.
Read the whole post and a few of their others. One specific detail in your message shows you're a person, not a bot.
Name, where you found them, what they said, and the date. A spreadsheet is fine. You'll need it for The Loop Back.
The point is to learn what they actually do, not whether they like your idea. Ask about the past, not the future, and for specifics, not opinions. These follow Rob Fitzpatrick's The Mom Test, which is worth an evening before your first call.
A workaround. A spreadsheet, a sticky note system, a VA they hired. They care enough to build something ugly.
Money already spent on the problem, even on something that didn't work.
Emotion. They speed up, swear or tell you a story you didn't ask for.
"Can I have it?" or "Tell me when it's ready." That's them asking, so now you can tell them what you're building.
The advice is the start, not the end. Go back to everyone who helped and tell them what you did with what they said. It's the most natural message you'll ever send, and it's how a conversation becomes a first customer.
Specific thanks proves you listened, and it leaves the door open.
Thanks, Sam. The bit about clients only paying after the third reminder was new to me. I'll let you know what I do with it.
People love seeing their idea in the world. This is also the first time you mention what you built.
Quick update: you said the third reminder is the one that works. Four other owners said the same, so I built something that sends all three for you. Could I show you? 15 minutes, and tell me if it misses.
They've helped shape it, so it isn't a pitch. It's an invitation to something they asked for.
You've helped shape this from the start, so you're the first person I'm asking. Want to be one of the first five people using it? I'll set it up for you myself.
A link says "go look at my thing". Leave it out until they ask what you're building. If the conversation is good, they will.
"I'm a founder researching this" is fine. "Just curious" with a product in your back pocket loses their trust the moment it comes out.
One question, or three by message. Not a call, a survey and a demo. Make saying yes easy, then ask for a little more.
Read each community's rules. Many ban self-promotion and some ban research posts. Message a mod first and ask. They often say yes.
Most people won't reply, and that's normal. Ten messages a day for two weeks beats one perfect message. Track who you sent, who replied and what they said.
One friendly nudge after four or five days. If that gets nothing, move on. Two follow-ups is a sequence, and sequences feel like sales.
Anybody can build software now. Not everybody can build a business.
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